Teratak Maya untuk himpunan karya amatur

•September 21, 2008 • 14 Komen
Shot by Pang5

Shot by Pang5

Sudah lama aku ceburi bidang fotografi ini tetapi bukan sebagai jurufoto profesional kerana semenjak dulu hingga sekarang aku masih degil bertahan sebagai jurufoto amatur tegar atau dalam ertikata lain hobbyist yang tiada visi bernilai komersil. Kamera SLR pertama yang aku beli sendiri ialah Canon 1000FN dan kemudian beralih ke NIKON 90x dan kemudian Praktika MTL sebelum beralih ke Nikon D50. Di antara semuanya itu terdapat juga kamera-kamera poket dan instamatik seperti Canon Joy, Yashica dan kamera digital pertamaku sebenarnya ialah camera prosumer Kodak yang jenis modelnya sudah aku lupa.

Sama ada amatur atau profesional, sama ada sudah berpuloh tahun memegang kamera SLR atau baru saja bermula dengan kamera poket, sekiranya foto kita boleh mempamerkan imej yang lebih menarik daripada yang dilihat oleh mata kasar dan kita seronok melihatnya maka kita sudah cukup bagus. 

Di kategori jurufoto terdapat senarai pautan untuk rakan-rakan jurufoto amatur dan juga professional dimana aku mendapatkan inspirasi untuk memperbaiki kemahiran. Juga terdapat pautan ke forum dan komuniti fotografi dimana aku menghantar hasil karya untuk dikomen dan di kritik agar kelemahan boleh di perbaiki.

Faces of Kuala Lumpur

•Mac 24, 2009 • 1 Komen

From my bedroom window I see Kuala Lumpur. The play of lights during sunrise and sunsets displaying the different moods of the city.

#1: Cool Night

#2: Remnants of a Flaming Day

#3: Brightening Heaven and Earth

#4: Glorifying The Sky

#5: Flaming Up

Please leave your comments and choose your favorite mood.

Macro World : Dunia Dari Mata Serangga

•Februari 11, 2009 • Tinggalkan Komen

Saya amat meminati bidang fotografi makro yang membolehkan saya melihat keunikan haiwan kecil, mengenalpasti jenisnya, meneliti corak kehidupan mereka yang amat mencabar.

Inaugural Speech – Barack Obama

•Januari 27, 2009 • 1 Komen

Full transcript as prepared for delivery of President Barack Obama’s inaugural remarks on Jan. 20, 2009, at the United States Capitol in Washington, D.C.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land – a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many.

They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America – they will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted – for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things – some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions – that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act – not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions – who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them – that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works – whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account – to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day – because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control – and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart – not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort – even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus – and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West – know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.

We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment – a moment that will define a generation – it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends – hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism – these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility – a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence – the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed – why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].”

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Reunion Fototeacher – Melangkah ke Tahap Seterusnya

•Januari 14, 2009 • 1 Komen

Merakamkan imej yang cantik bukan semudah yang disangka. Ia bukan sekadar dengan membeli kamera yang mahal, yang bermegapiksel besar atau lensa panjang semata-mata. Ia lebih kepada kemahiran jurufoto yang menggunakannya. Kemahiran yang diperolehi dengan sedikit bakat, pengetahuan, kefahaman, pengalaman dan kehausan yang berterusan untuk mencapai tahap yang lebih tinggi. Dan dengan harapan untuk mencapai tahap yang lebih tinggi itu pada 10 Januari lalu saya telah menghadiri acara reunion fototeacher di Shah Village, Petaling Jaya.

Acara yang bermula pada jam 9 pagi dan berakhir pada sekitar jam 6 petang itu dihadiri oleh hampir 30 orang termasuk dari Langkawi dan Johor. Boleh dikatakan semuanya jurufoto perkahwinan dan mungkin saya seorang sahaja jurufoto makro yang bertahap hobbyist.

Apa yang saya perolehi?

1. Kesedaran bahawa mengambil gambar acara dan potret, sama aje prinsipnya dengan makro. Lebih banyak kita tahu tentang apa yang kita ingin rakamkan, maka lebih cantik lagilah gambar yang kita ambil. Knowledge is power.

2. Faham bahawa gangguan-gangguan kecil dan pengabaian terhadap detail yang remeh akan menghalang gambar yang cantik daripada menjadi sempurna.

3. Tahu built in flash saya boleh trigger SB600 saya. Jadi boleh rakam gambar yang stunning sikit.

4. Dapat berkenalan dengan jurufoto lain dan nanti insyallah boleh terus bertukar pengetahuan dan pendapat.

5. Faham dengan lebih mendalam peraturan penting dalam merakam imej supaya nanti boleh tahu bila saya boleh melanggarnya.

Sememangnya lebih banyak boleh diperolehi tetapi setakat itu sahaja yang saya dapat buat masa ini. Sekiranya saya dapat hadir lebih banyak acara sebegini, tentu sekali lebih banyak dan lebih mendalam kefahaman saya.

Rakan-rakan jurufoto profesional yang menghadiri acara tersebut tentu sekali sudah naik tahap kemahiran dan pelanggan tentu akan lebih puas dengan hasil kerja yang semakin mantap. Syabas dan terima kasih diucapkan kepada Fototeacher yang menganjurkan acara ini. Memang Hebat.

Model Shot : Fizah

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Model Shot : Nurul

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Model Shot : Nurul

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Model Shot : Lily

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Model Shooter : Ally

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Brochure Shot : Ambience

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Brochure Shot : Ambience

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Salam Aidil Fitri

•Oktober 10, 2008 • 1 Komen

Raya jatuh pada tanggal 1 Oktober pada tahun ini. Berdasarkan persetujuan yang dibuat tahun lepas, tahun ni aku sekeluarga balik beraya di Kuantan. Kami bertolak pada petang Sabtu dan tiba di Kuantan lebih kurang 1 jam je sebelum berbuka. Kami memang dah rancang balik awal sikit ke Kuantan sebab selepas raya nak bawak anak-anak pergi bercuti di Cherating. Masa cuti sekolah lepas aku cuma bawak budak-budak tu ke Desa Water Park je walaupun dorang dah lama ajak bercuti duduk hotel tepi laut.

Kami solat raya di Masjid Kampung Selamat yang hanya lebih kurang 150 meter daripada rumah keluarga. Di situlah aku dulu belajar mengaji untuk beberapa tahun masa kecik dulu. Sebaik selesai solat raya, baru perasan yang duduk sebelah aku rupa-rupanya kawan lama masa mengaji dulu. Masa bersalam-salam dengan jemaah lain sebelum keluar masjid, terserempak pulak dengan sorang lagi kawan lama dan bersembanglah kita bertiga di pintu masjid. Tengah bersembang, datang lagi sorang geng mengaji dulu siap dengan serbannya. Lama jugaklah kita bersembang tu sebab bila sampai balik ke rumah semua bising sebab dah lama menunggu untuk ambik gambar ramai-ramai sebelum ziarah ke kubur.

Dah lama aku tak ziarah kubur arwah ibu kerana aku agak jarang balik ke Kuantan. Aku bawa isteri dan anak-anak untuk mengenalinya. Sudah 12 tahun masa berlalu dan batu-batu putih di pusara ibu sudah nampak berlumut. Ada ranting-ranting kecil bertaburan banyak dan batu nisannya pun nampak bertampuk. Masa aku sampai, abang dan adik aku tengah mengutip ranting-ranting kecil tu dan aku menoleh melihat anak-anak ku. Beberapa hari kemudian dalam perjalanan balik ke Kuala Lumpur, aku tiba-tiba teringatkan satu perkara lagi yang sudah lama aku abaikan. Aku sudah lama tidak ke perkuburan Bukit Setanggi untuk

menziarahi kubur abangku Azlan. Walaupun aku sendiri tidak sempat mengenalinya kerana arwah Azlan meninggal dunia ketika bayi sebelum aku dilahirkan tetapi anak-anak aku perlu tahu mereka ada bapa saudara bernama Azlan yang dikasihi arwah ibuku sebagaimana anak-anaknya yang lain.

 Pada hari Khamis, kami ke Cherating Bayview Resort yang terletak dibelakang tanah perkuburan Kampung Cherating. Kedudukannya di tepi laut dan ada dua kolam renang kecil untuk dewasa dan untuk kanak-kanak. Kami bernasib baik dapat dua unit menghadap laut sebab ada booking yang kensel.

Setiap unit lapang dengan dua katil besar, TV dan aircon. Kami berehat disini selama 2 malam dan pada hari Sabtu pagi kami ke Kijal untuk beli lemang, ikan bilis dan keropok dulu sebelum balik Ke Kuala Lumpur.

Navarathri – Satu Perayaan Yang Berbeza

•Oktober 9, 2008 • Tinggalkan Komen

 

 ‘Navaratri’ is the festival of worship of Goddess Shakti (feminine manifestation of the cosmic energy). The Goddess fought evil Demons over nine days and nights and destroyed them on the tenth day.

Answering an invitation of a friend who were performing as part of a dance school, on the 8th night we went to the Lord Murugan temple in Batu Caves. There weren’t many people there contrary to our expectation and I was very much relieved to be able to park my car inside the temple compound. Our friend who is working in the same office as my wife will be performing at 9:00pm. I was quite amazed to learn she have been taking dance classes since she was 6 years old. It reminds me of some friends I know in Turkey who have been taking Islamic calligraphy classes, Mevlevi dance, sufi music, etc since very small. How strong they hold to their ways is what amazes me. So what is Navarathri? To accompany the photos, we googled up some information and try understand what we watched and recorded. So the dance performed throughout the nine nights is actually a 9 night chronology of the fight betwen good and evil.

Navaratri means “nine nights”. What does the nine signify? There are nine planets (grahas), according to astrology. The human body has nine openings. If a deep inquiry is made, it will be found that mankind is dependent on the planets. Although astrologers speak about nine planets, in reality, only two “planets” matter: attachment (raaga) and hatred (dwesha).

In the worship of the deities during Navaratri, one of them is worshipped each day, not externally but with one’s heart and soul. Bodily actions are ephemeral. The body derives its value from the spirit within. Hence it should be regarded as a sacred temple. During the Navaratri festival, for the purpose of eradicating one’s own demonic and evil tendencies, the deities are worshipped with sacred powder (kumkum).

Therefore, the Navaratri festival is observed by contemplating on God for ten days, cleansing one’s self of all impurities, in order to experience the divinity within. The last but one day of the festival is dedicated to what is termed “worship of weapons” (ayudha puja). The weapons to be worshipped are the divine powers in man. When the divine is worshipped in this way, one is bound to progress spiritually.

During Navaratri, the energy of Sree Durgadevi is intensely active in the atmosphere.

The Celebration
Navratri is divided into sets of three days to adore three different aspects of the supreme goddess or goddesses – Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswathi. Their esoteric significance is represented by three potencies (shakthis): will power (ichchaa shakthi), the power of purposeful action (kriya shakthi), and the power of knowledge (jnaana shakthi).

First three days
The goddess is invoked as a spiritual force called Durga also known as kali in order to destroy all our impurities, vices and defects.
When the divine Goddess is in dreadful rage to destroy the wicked elements, she assumes a fearful form. To pacify the dreaded Goddess, we her children offer worship to Her with sacred red powder (kumkum). Seeing the blood-red kumkum at her feet, the Goddess feels assured that the wicked have been vanquished and assumes her benign form. The inner meaning of the worship of Devi with red kumkum is that thereby the Goddess is appeased.

Second three days
The Mother is adored as a giver of spiritual wealth, Lakshmi, who is considered to have the power of bestowing on her devotees inexhaustible wealth – not just money but intellectual wealth, the wealth of character, health and others. She is the Goddess of wealth!

Final three days
Ashtami is the day devi is enlighetened, she kills the asura who is the embodiment of samskaras, he assumes diffrent forms as one samskara when suppressed becomes another. On namavi day siva comes to serve her. On dasami her enlightenment is celebrated. Enlightenmnet is the point of transtion between beast and man – between instinct and intellect – that is the birth of intuition.

The final set of three days is spent in worshipping the goddess of wisdom, Saraswathi. She bestows intelligence, the capacity for intellectual inquiry, and the power of discrimination on us.

 

dR Love – Panduan Mencari Jodoh

•September 25, 2008 • 1 Komen
On your mark! Get Set!

On your mark! Get Set!

Kekadang aku kesian jugak bila tengok pompuan lawa lawa tapi tak kawin kawin. Berdating dah berzaman-zaman, pengalaman berdating jangan nak lawanlah dan tentulah kemahiran mengenal hati budi orang ni dia dah cukup mahir. Sekali jeling je kat aku dah tahu aku ni lelaki melayu terakhir. Ada pulak tu tak de la lawa pun tapi senang je temu jodoh, muda lagi dah ada anak berderet. Setengah tu lelakinya hensem bukan main, kurang sikit je daripada aku tapi pasangannya biasa aje tak serupa aku punya. Apa istimewanya pasangan dia tu? Jadinya timbul persoalan perempuan macam mana yang dicari oleh orang lelaki untuk dijadikan pasangan hidup.

Aku tak nak cerita pasal sebab musabab mereka ni tak kawin kawin kerana memang banyak yang boleh difikirkan. Yang difikirkan pun belum tentu benar apa lagi yang diakui sebagai sebab yang jujur. Baik aku cerita dari sudut pandangan lelaki apabila memilih pasangan. Lelaki di sini aku rujuk kepada diri aku sendiri dan beberapa sampel segar kawan-kawan di Malaysia dan di luar negara.

Dalam interaksi sosial dengan kaum wanita, kita bolehlah buat pecahan kepada beberapa kategori:

1. BEH LA KO NI, AKU TAK RASA MACAM SEMBANG DENGAN PEREMPUAN PUN.

Kawan biasa untuk sembang-sembang kosong. Perempuan dalam kategori ini tak perlu ada apa-apa kemahiran. Tak perlu cerdik, tak perlu cantik sangat tetapi memang best kalau tahu sedikit sebanyak tentang bahan yang diminati oleh lelaki tersebut. Contohnya boleh sembang pasal bola sepak ke atau kereta ke atau pancing ke. Kira untuk sembang perkara yang melibur hati tetapi tidak melekat di hati atau tak buat kita befikir apa-apa pun. Setengah tu cara sembang pun lebih daripada lelaki. Riuh menjerit-jerit dah jadi macam siamang kena lastik, macam setengah budak Cosmopoint yang melepak di kedai mamak dekat Sime Darby tu. Dah la comot macam caveman dan cave woman, perangai pun macam duduk dalam gua tak endahkan orang keliling. Macam ni memang fail sebab kalau kita jenis tak endahkan orang sekeliling bererti kita kurang rasa tanggungjawab dan langsung tidak bersedia untuk berkongsi apa-apa kecuali cerita-cerita kosong.

Kita balik ke topik asal. Kawan sembang ni, bila habis sembang, balik rumah masing-masing dan bila bukak TV, kita dah lupa semua yang dibualkan tadi. Hubungan begini biasanya kekal sebagai kawan saja. Kalau perempuan ni cun, ada peluang jadi grilfren dan ada peluang jugak di lamar jadi isteri tapi ambil masa agak lama sebab modalnya hanya rupa paras. Sembang kosong ni dengan sesiapa pun lelaki boleh buat tapi takat tu je la.

2. AKU SUKA LAH SEMBANG DENGAN KO. UNDERSTANDING SUNGGUH.

Kawan biasa untuk sembang bijak. Ni versi up sikit. Yang ni orang lelaki pun kena bijak jugak kalau tak kejap je dah habis. Yelah yang perempuan cerita pasal Discovery channel, pasal Bloomberg, yang lelaki pulak cerita pasal Naruto, kad Digimon, cerita pasal drama mexico sampai nangis nangis. Mana boleh jadi kan? Kalau dua-dua bijak bersembang dan tidak pula cuba mengatasi intelectualism satu sama lain, boleh sembang benda yang lebih dalam maka proses mengenali hati budi berjalan lebih lancar. Kata-kata yang dikeluarkan secara bijak boleh membuai jiwa dan jiwa yang dibuai akan ketagih nak lagi. Jadinya cun ke tak cun ke sudah bukan ukuran untuk lelaki membuat pilihan.

3. WOW! LAWANYA?

Rupa paras amat penting dalam memilih pasangan hidup. Bukan sahaja manusia tetapi makhluk lain juga memilih pasangan yang mempunyai kriteria fizikal dan fisioloji yang terbaik. Tujuannya untuk meningkatkan peluang mendapat zuriat yang sihat, cantik dan mampu berdaya saing. Jadi janganlah menipu diri sendiri dengan mengatakan rupa paras tidak penting. Dalam beg tangan perempuan mesti ada sekurang-kurangnya sebatang gincu, senjata paling kecil dan mudah bawa dalam medan perang mencari pasangan ini. Semua barangan kosmetik sebenarnya ialah “weapon of deception” untuk mengabui mata mereka yang melihat. Seperti weapon of deception yang lain, kesannya tak lama. Kebenaran tidak boleh diselindungi lama-lama. Tak guna berulang berkali-kali ke bilik air untuk refresh makeup kerana ia bukan senjata untuk membunuh tetapi hanya untuk mengabui sahaja. Untuk membunuh kena guna senjata lain kecuali sekiranya anda bukan nak cari pasangan hidup tetapi sekadar untuk berseronok dibuai rasa glamer kerana berjaya menarik perhatian ramai. Boleh buat perempuan lain kagum dan lelaki mengiggil tengok anda. Kalau sekadar nak berboyfren, rupa paras dah memang cukup. Kalau nak berboyfren lama, kena tambah satu dua lagi la kriteria lain. Kalau nak kawin, kena lebih lagi lah.

4. DIA ADA STAIL LAH.

Ya. Setengah perempuan tak de la lawa sangat tetapi ada daya tarikannya. Mungkin keyakinan dirinya, gaya dia membetulkan tudung atau rambut, gaya dia bertoleh, gaya berjalan, gaya bercakap, gaya korek hidung, sengetkan badan bila nak terkentut atau senyumannya yang manis. Arwah tok saya pernah cakap ” Lawa tak semana tapi manis yang tak tertanggung”. Pemahaman saya berkaitan ungkapan tersebut ialah lawa tak akan kekal lama. Kalau tengok lama-lama, tiap hari, nanti makin nampak kuranglah lawa tu. Masa tu dah mula la perasan rupa-rupanya ada jerawat, ada black head, telinganya capang, hidungnya sebenarnya senget sikit ke, putih melepak tu sebenarnya panau ke tetapi manis senyuman takkan pudar kesannya. Makin dilihat makin tak puas. Agaknya betul pemahaman saya tuh.

5. U SUKA BUDAK-BUDAK YE? TENGOK GAMBAR ASYIK BERPELOK DENGAN ANAK BUAH JE?

Ramai orang perempuan simpan gambar bersama anak buah dalam beg tangan, buat wall paper di pc dsb. Perempuan memang suka kanak-kanak dan lelaki memang suka perempuan yang suka kanak-kanak walaupun sekiranya lelaki tu sebenarnya tak suka kanak-kanak. Tetapi sebab salah satu tujuan utama lelaki kawin ialah sebab nak ada zuriat, dia perlukan seorang yang dia boleh percaya akan menjaga zuriatnya dengan penuh kasih sayang. Sebab tulah setengah perempuan tu bawak sampai satu album dalam beg tangan. Kira macam resume lah tu. Bila saya bawa anak-anak saya ke Taman Tasik Titiwangsa, mereka juga selalu dijadikan props oleh pasangan kekasih yang sedang menerokai hati budi satu sama lain. Ini semua perkara normal dalam kita cuba meningkatkan peluang mendapatkan pekerjaan sebagai suami atau isteri.

6. SAYA SUKA LAH FAMILY AWAK. BAIK.

Dalam budaya masyarakat kita perkahwinan bukan hanya antara dua manusia. Ia melibatkan penyatuan dua keluarga dengan pasangan pengantin sebagai pengikat dan anak-anak mereka sebagai pengunci. Datang dari keluarga yang baik, tenang dan aman merupakan nilai tambah dalam membuat keputusan untuk memilih pasangan hidup. Kalau keluarga tu kaya, maka tentu sekali makin bertambahlah nilai tambah bertambah tu. Adakalanya boleh sampai terhapus kriteria yang lain. Begitu juga lah sebaliknya. Walau sekiranya mempunyai keluarga yang porak poranda, bapa dalam jel, adik beradik penagih dadah atau tak mempunyai keluarga sekali pun, tetapi sekiranya mempunyai peribadi yang mulia dan memang sudah bersedia menjadi isteri dan ibu yang baik, tentu sekali anda mempunyai peluang yang amat cerah bukan sahaja untuk mendapat pasangan hidup yang baik tetapi yang berkekalan.

7. MAKWE KOI NINA ANAK TOK LEBAI.

Alim dan warak memang menjadi salah satu ukuran dalam memilih pasangan hidup. Salah satu sebabnya ialah kerana didikan ugama yang baik akan membentuk peribadi yang mulia. Bukan sahaja peribadi pasangan yang mulia tetapi anak yang mendapat didikan dari ibu yang soleh juga akan memiliki peribadi yang mulia. Itulah harapan dan tanggapan lelaki yang mencari pasangan. Jadinya sekiranya anda bukan Nina anak Tok Lebai tetapi sudah bersedia untuk membina keluarga, bentuklah peribadi yang mulia, bersopan santun bila bercakap, beradap dan tinggalkanlah gaya bercakap ala brutal, pakai seluar nampak bontot seperti bohsia, muka sardin macam sardin dan mulalah menampilkan imej yang lebh baik.

8. THAT GUY MY BOYFREN TAU. TIAP MALAM CALL I ATAU I CALL DIA. KITA DAH JANJI NAK KAWIN ESOK NIH.

Mendakwa seseorang itu sebagai kekasih dibelakangnya, mempamirkan rasa cemburu keterlaluan, menelefon pada kadar kerap, mendesak, merajuk, merengek, mengungkit, memancing janji, tunjuk ambil berat sampai nak muntah dan sepertinya boleh mengakibatkan perhubungan itu berakhir dengan ungkapan ” I sayang u macam adik i je” atau ” Kita kawan je lah” atau ” Sebenarnya I dah kawin 4 dan dah ada 2 lagi dah standby” atau ” Nak cerita ni, masa bersunat dulu tok mudin terpotong abis, jadi i tak leh kawin”.

Tunjuk caring berlebih, cemburu dan semua tadi tuh menakutkan lelaki. Lelaki pada dasarnya ialah pemburu dan tak suka perasaan diburu melainkan yang memburunya itu Angelina Jolie atau Jesica Alba. Kalau belum kawin dah ditelefon sejam sekali, dah kawin nanti memang tak sempat nak berak lah alamatnya. Walaupun anda amat mengaguminya sebab anda rasa dia ni sebenarnya memang terlebih layak untuk anda atau anda rasa anda seperti menang loteri apabila mendapat perhatian dia yang hensem giler, jangan tunjuk beriya sangat kegirangan anda itu. Main permainan ni macam main catur, jangan macam main galah panjang atau police and thief.

Sebenarnya perkara 8 ni juga penyakit lelaki dan paling masyur dikalangan lelaki Kelantan. Lelaki negeri lain tak tahulah tapi konfirm belum ada kes di kalangan lelaki Pahang. Mungkin kerana jinetik hensem lelaki Pahang dah suppress jinetik penyakit nih.

9. OOOOOOUUUUGGGRRRRHHHHHHHRRRRGGGH….! SEDAK! SEDAK! POPALEH SEDAKNYA! MEMANG U KE MASAK NIMS?

Bak kata perpatah Turki:” Kadinin gonlune kulagindan, erkegin gonlune midesinden gecer”. Ertinya laluan ke hati perempuan ikut telinga, ke hati lelaki pula ikut perut. Maksudnya kalau nak pikat perempuan, bagi dia dengar bende-bende best, puji puji ke, nak pikat lelaki pulak bagi dia makan bende best best.

Ikut perpatah di atas, perempuan memang suka dipujuk rayu di puji, di buai dengan kata-kata. Kalau ada yang rasa ianya tak betul, salah, meleset, pedohoh. Berpendapat bahawa perempuan sebenarnya suka kena sergah, suka dengar cakap-cakap brutal, suka kena layan macam lelaki, lebih kasar bahasa lebih rasa hebat, maka perpatah di atas tu dah tak sesuai dan tak usah teruskan bacaan. Tapi kalau rasa memang betul bahagian tentang perempuan tu, maka kena terima bahawa bahagian tentang lelaki tu juga betul.

(Kalau anda antara yang suka memberi fokus kepada “minor exceptions” dengan komen “Tak semua macam tu” maka saya mengajak anda supaya kembali memberi fokus kepada the major idea agar anda tak sesat dalam exceptions yang akan menghanyutkan anda ke pelbagai arah tetapi tidak ke mana-mana tujuan.)

Fahami sungguh-sungguh maksud perpatah diatas tu sebab itulah senjata pembunuh yang akan melengkapkan quest untuk medapatkan pasangan hidup dan yang dah ada pasangan hidup pulak yang akan mengukuhkannya. Jangan lah seminggu nak kawin baru nak belajar memasak kerana memasak ni bukan boleh belajar dalam masa yang singkat. Ianya satu kemahiran yang sewajarnya sudah ada apabila sahaja kita kata kita dah bersedia untuk mencari pasangan hidup. Orang dulu dulu kalau nak ngorat hantar nasik ke rumah atau ke paya tempat tunang bekerja, orang sekarang mamat Domino Pizza hok hantorkan. Boyfren dia sedapla makan Domino Pizza tu dan berterima kasihlah kat awek dia nih tapi takat tu je la. Awek lain pun boleh juga pesankan Domino Pizza, KFC ke Nandos ke, nasik campur ke asal ada duit. Tapi kalau awek tu masak sendiri, dia telah meletakkan signaturenya di situ.

Dapur ialah jantung sebuah rumah tangga dan perlu dihidupkan apinya agar kehangatan tersebar ke seluruh sudut rumah. Jadi dalam mencari pasangan hidup, lelaki yang tak mahu selamanya makan nasik bungkus seperti zaman hidup bujang akan mencari isteri yang pandai dan rajin memasak agar dia dapat merasai semula masakan hangat seperti di rumah ibunya. Anak-anaknya juga akan mendapat makanan yang sihat seperti dirinya ketika kanak-kanak. Untuk ini beberapa kriteria di atas juga sanggup diketepikannya malah kalau undang-undang mengizinkannya ada yang akan melamar Chef Wan. Jangan juga terlalu hairan sekiranya lelaki idola anda mengenepikan semua kriteria di atas termasuk rupa paras hot anda dan memilih untuk bersama Chef Ismail.

Kalau ada sesiapa nak tambah lagi, silakan. Nanti kita buat handbook “Courting for Dummies”.

O Kadar.